Princess Wilhelmina had never understood why she had a fairy godfather.
The Gray Man, for that is what he was called, had no interest in giving her a gown made of moonbeams or seven-league boots or in turning mice into coachmen. He was wizened and stooped and had a laugh like a dusty cough. He had looked after her mother before her and her grandmother before that, but he mostly looked after the kingdom.
So, when her father announced over dinner that Wilhelmina must wed by the winter solstice, she was unsurprised to see the Gray Man sitting on her window seat when she entered her room. His eyes were the color of storm clouds, his skin and hair the same shade as the flagstones around him, as if he’d sprung from the castle itself.
“You knew this was coming,” he said in his raspy voice.
Once again, Wilhelmina wished she had a fairy godmother who would wrap her in a cozy embrace and tell her everything would be alright. “Yes,” she conceded. “Once I rejected the third suitor in as many months, I sensed an ultimatum was in the offing. I’m not happy to be right.”
The Gray Man arched an eyebrow. “Then give him a condition. Tell him…” he paused, considering. “You will marry the man who makes you laugh.”
Wilhelmina had not laughed in the years since the queen died. The whole world had seemed gray, not just the Gray Man. She sighed. “It’s a sound idea and yet, I will need to marry someone.”
The Gray Man smiled. His teeth were gray too. “Leave that to me.”
“You only have until the solstice,” she warned, thinking of all the wishes he’d failed to grant over the years.
He shook his head, clearly thinking of her wishes too. “Unlike impractical dresses or dangerous footwear or the dubious moral decision to turn rodents into people, this I can do. Have a little faith.”
She didn’t. She also didn’t have a choice. It was already autumn; the solstice was coming whether she wanted it to or not.
The Gray Man searched high and low for a man who would make the princess a good husband, one who would also be good for the kingdom. He had a duty to both after all.
Along his journey, he’d posed as a weary traveler, asking for help. He found precious little. Nobles were the worst, but peasants weren’t much better. And, well, if the people who refused to help him met with small accidents–slipping in the wine they refused to share, getting burned by their meal, taking an ax to the leg–that was to be expected. He was one of the Fair Folk after all.
They’d heal eventually.
Leaving a trail of injured men behind him, the Gray Man continued his search.
Wilhelmina listened to her latest suitor telling a long-winded joke whose punchline she had already guessed.
Over the past few months, she hadn’t been tempted to laugh, not once.
Nothing about her situation felt amusing.
It helped that her suitors were dull, dull, dull. They talked and talked, but none of them listened. They were interested in her position…not a single one of them was interested in her.
In a little corner of the kingdom, the Gray Man looked his young dining companion up and down. Then he smiled. Dominik was perfect. He’d passed the first test by being good-natured enough to share what little he had with a stranger. It didn’t hurt that he was handsome, with kind eyes and broad shoulders. Dominik asked questions and genuinely paid attention to the answers. And, though he wasn’t in the habit of talking about himself, Dominik had shared he was out in the forest to chop wood for his family after his two older brothers had accidents involving an ax.
…they hadn’t been good at sharing.
The Gray Man coughed. “What was I saying? Oh yes. If you chop down that tree over there, you’ll receive your reward.”
Dominik looked at the tree, clearly puzzled. “That’s kind of you, but I shared because it was the right thing to do. Besides, you already made our food far better than what my mother packed for me to eat.”
“Humor me,” the Gray Man said with a smile. So, Dominik had noticed the switch he’d made, trading out the sour beer for a good bottle and the burnt cake for one that was perfectly baked. His family might call Dominik simple because he was kind and took time to consider his words before he spoke, but he paid attention.
After a moment, Dominik stood, giving the Gray Man a bow. “Thank you.”
It only took three swings of his ax to fell the tree the Gray Man had indicated. Once the tree was down, Dominik turned to look for the Gray Man, who was lurking out of sight in the shadows. A goose with feathers of the finest gold was perched on the stump when Dominik turned back around.
The golden goose glared at the Gray Man for tossing him so unceremoniously onto the stump. Fortunately, Dominik didn’t seem to notice.
“Hello there,” Dominik said. “Would you like to come home with me?”
The goose cast a baleful look into the shadows. The Gray Man glared back. “We’re supposed to go somewhere else,” the goose shared.
Dominik fainted.
“This is a very strange plan,” the goose said, this time to the Gray Man.
“Be quiet. I called in my favor, so you have to help me until the sun sets on the solstice,” the Gray Man scolded the goose as he stepped out of the shadows. Dominik was already blinking, surprised to find himself on the ground. The Gray Man helped him up. “Let’s get you to an inn.”
The solstice was only a day away.
“Nobody has made me laugh yet,” Wilhelmina reminded her father, pleading for more time.
“I am beginning to think nobody ever will. I’m not in good health; I want to see you settled before you inherit the throne. You have until sundown tomorrow to choose your own husband. I’ll choose for you if you don’t.”
“Yes, father,” she nodded. There was no arguing with him when he was in a mood like this.
If the Gray Man was going to come through for her, he was running out of time.
The Gray Man watched in the morning as Dominik discovered the innkeeper’s three daughters were all stuck to the goose. They’d been drawn to it the night before and, as soon as the first touched those enticing, enchanted feathers, she couldn’t pull her hand away. The next had gotten stuck to her sister’s shoulder while the youngest was stuck to the middle sister’s hand. Dominik had tried to free them, but it was no use. He was the only one who could touch the goose and put it down again.
The goose itself was not enthused by the state of affairs.
“You’ll need to find the Gray Man again,” it told them. The innkeeper’s daughters all gasped. The goose hissed at them.
“Thank you, goose,” Dominik shared. “Er, do you know which way he went?”
Glaring into the shadows at the Gray Man, the goose jerked his head in the direction of the distant palace. “If we go that way, I’m certain he’ll show up.”
After Dominik and the innkeeper’s daughters had been walking for about an hour, they’d managed to pick up a minister and a thief. The little parade’s warnings hadn’t stopped the men from getting too close. They’d each gotten stuck in turn.
“Can you help us?” Dominik asked when they came across the Gray Man sitting next to the path.
“No,” the Gray Man lied. “But do not despair. Go to the palace at the edge of the woods. Call for Wilhelmina. When she comes down, you will be free. And hurry, you must get there before sundown.” Then he disappeared.
The strange little parade continued on.
There was hardly any daylight left when Wilhelmina heard her name being called.
She went to the window and, at the sight that greeted her, burst out laughing. The laugh was only partly due to the sheer ridiculousness of a handsome young man holding a golden goose with an ungainly group of people all stuck to one another behind him. Mostly, she’d felt stressed for so long that she’d laughed in sheer relief at the fact the Gray Man had come through for her after all.
He had arrived that morning, promising that he’d found the perfect suitor. “You’ll know him when you see him,” was all he said when she’d pressed him for more details.
Ignoring her father’s wide-eyed look, Wilhelmina rushed down the stairs. The king and all the courtiers followed.
As soon as Wilhelmina reached the group around the golden goose, everyone attached to it was freed with an audible pop. She saw the Gray Man out of the corner of her eye. He winked at her.
“Thank you, Wilhelmina. I don’t know how you managed it. We’re all very grateful.” Dominik's smile was like sunshine.
She suddenly felt out of breath. “Would you like to marry me?” she asked.
He jolted, so startled that he dropped the golden goose. “What? Why?”
Her father reached her side. “I know he made you laugh, but you cannot seriously be considering marrying this peasant!” Then he swore as the goose bit his leg.
Wilhelmina had noticed Dominik’s rough hands and simple clothes, but she was more struck by the kindness in his eyes when he looked at her, waiting to hear what she had to say. “I need a husband. The Gray Man told me he’d help find me the right one and he found you. Before you decide…you should know this is the first time I’ve laughed in years. Most people say I’m too serious.”
Dominik didn’t take his eyes away from her face. “You lost your mother a few years ago, didn’t you?” he asked. Wilhelmina nodded. He continued. “My grandmother was the only person in my life who loved me. She passed last year; I know what it’s like to grieve. I wouldn’t ask you to be anything other than who you are.” He bowed. “If you want to marry me, I’m yours.”
She looked over to where her father was rubbing his shin. The golden goose, job accomplished, had wandered off to cause trouble elsewhere. “I will marry him, father. A deal is a deal.”
Wilhelmina and Dominik were happily married for the rest of their lives, her long rule a time of peace and prosperity for the kingdom. The Gray Man continued to help them in ways large and small.
She never understood why she had a fairy godfather, but she was grateful for him anyway.
C.N. Wheaton’s short stories have recently appeared in the Queens in Wonderland anthology from No Bad Books Press, the Beach Shorts anthology from Speculation Publications, and The Initialization of Briar Rose anthology from Manawaker Studios, among others. She lives in California when she isn’t playing around in fictional worlds.
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